In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
