found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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