Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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