you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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