Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
