Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
