Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
