dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
