i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
