I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
