it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
