We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
