i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I love having hate sex.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
