For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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