do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You pole danced in your parka.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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