You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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