Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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