i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
