so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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