I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
