Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you win again, gameday.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
