oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
