Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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