So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
