We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
