They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
