Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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