Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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