I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
