Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
