there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
