It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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