I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
