okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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