I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
