remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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