fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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