Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
