I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
