I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
