i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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