I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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