two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
