he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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