The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
