During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
