A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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