Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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