I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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