i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
